Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Wow i would have said that is totally transference. Thats how i felt about my exes. And some of my ts. As a parentified child. But i really needed that for myself, someone to be in my corner.
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I think my grasp of transference is still not quite as clear as I would like, and there is definitely some transference in there. However, in my case, the romantic connection bit does not feel like transference at all. It feels like the first time I've loved someone as an equal adult, without a significant child bit of me getting in the way.
Although, now I'm getting more muddled. Maybe all the time I was listening to her riff on about her chaotic past and current illnesses and knowing in a way that something was odd about that - maybe that was me embracing the 'parentified child' role a little? I don't know. But I didn't want any kind of inequality with her, that's why I would never want her to be my therapist again. The kind of relationship I wanted/ want (not even sure what tense to use, because my own head doesn't even know) is an adult relationship, where both people give and both take. Not the therapy umbilical cord situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron
It is an extroadinarily complex thing, and i hope you don't think the suggestion of a transference element in any way diminishes those feelings. I think that's why when the feelings are causing this amount of hurt it is so important to explore them in therapy. For me it helps to defuse them in their intensity. (Sometimes  ) |
Oh goodness no! I didn't think that at all. I just get very frustrated when I start trying to define transference when it's not the overt kind, because my thinking goes in circles and I get completely lost.