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I guess I get angry at him because I know that he never accused her of the deceit and lack of respect that cheating would require and she deserved it whereas I am not married, haven’t been and don’t have a history of cheating.
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The main thing is that he does not trust you, but the fact that he treated her the way she did is a major irritant and makes everything he says to you that much worse.
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I guess instead of comparing how he treated her to how he treats me I should just demand better of him.
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Yes.
Would you be willing to say more about how he treats you--is his irrational jealousy and unfounded accusations the only problem?