Hi my friends... I decided to post about my troubles, have been resisting it but must do so now... I am wearing an ankle brace due to arch collapse (it's been about 3 mos. now but it's getting better), also wearing an ace bandage on painful strained arm, taking a med from my gyn, getting dental work done and also must have a cancer specialist check me. I do not have cancer, but "maybe a possibility of pre-cancerous condition." Sounds so absurd, but it's all true!

Oh, also my daughter will not communicate with me right now due to problems with her son, in drug rehab. I am still reeling from the realization that I am a survivor of emotional neglect and emotional abuse from my mother and same from Extreme Workaholic Parents and I am very old for this to occur. I feel that I was murdered by those actions and inactions of my parents. I am not that person anymore, still must find who I am today. Better late than never, though, right? I had a fight with neighbor gal today, as well - she is brain-injured and does not understand anything. I just needed to set boundaries. I have had to put a "Private Property - No Trespassing" sign on my porch because of her. I have compassion for her but not to the extent that I don't protect myself from her craziness. She does not understand privacy or boundaries and is horribly intrusive.

I am not sleeping well at all due to my inactivity. Whenever I lie down, I am having small panic attacks due to the neglect and abuse realization, also the fear that my daughter may be gone forever and I will die alone and rejected. Breathing exercises help a bit, but these attacks still come.

Good Stuff: I went and got a good haircut yesterday. I hired a house cleaner who came today. I am getting caught up on letting my house go for many months. I actually washed many dishes, pots & pans, etc. this evening. I have a new therapist who does EMDR and I hope to process my neglect and abuse realizations with her and leave them in the dust! I have a new friend where I live and she is really a fun friend, also has a beautiful pug puppy and they will visit tomorrow. I am not out of HOPE. I will have eggs and bacon and toast for dinner: comfort food! Thanks mucho for listening/reading.