Ack, I'm so sorry! The duplicate name is totally my fault. I came home upset and hurt from therapy, saw your thread and posted... realized I was still really hurt and upset, and started my own thread to vent, and the name of yours didn't register at all with me. I just went with how I was feeling - I'm so sorry! Didn't mean to add any confusion...

Yeah, the cost makes it worse. I would totally find a way to make it work... if it were worth it. If I were getting better, or could even see that there was a plan that eventually would drop me off at better. I don't know, it's all so confusing, I have no clue what the point is, and as you pointed out - it's not just that it's not helping, it seems to be making things worse.

I don't honestly know if I'm going to have the guts to quit next week either though. I'm going to do a lot of soul searching this week, I think, and try to figure it out. The whole thing just strikes me as crazy.

I think for me... I'm very "thinky". I really enjoy reading psychology books or articles, and *getting it*. Feeling like it clicks, and helps me understand stuff... I don't know in the long run if it will help me feel better, but right now, it kind of does - like "OK, I'm not crazy - the ways I'm acting are normal and predictable given my particular background! Yay!" It helps.

But my T doesn't help with that at all. I don't know if it's because my stuff isn't his area of expertise, or if that's just not what T is about. I just feel like, crap, I'm getting more from $20 self help books on Amazon than from T. And, I honestly, really, so much wish I *could* get something from T. I really want to improve my life, handle more, be less stressed, be more confident, have a better sense of self, and be able to handle feelings well - you know, I think it gives people a certain depth and maturity. And, I just can't see getting there with T right now, and I can't for the life of me understand WHY. Oh it sucks so much! I've *tried* harder than with any other T, and he knows more of my stuff... but he doesn't understand any of it I think!!!!!

Thanks for posting this, and I'm glad I'm not the only one. Therapy DOES feel crazy making, you are right about that!!!