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He believed it was intended to damage OUR relationship and he expressed how angry he was about that.
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This thought sounds very much like his unfounded idea that you are cheating on him.
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Not to mention my boyfriend never did contact his ex like I had asked him BUT did manage to do the one thing I asked him not to (confront my bff).
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He did not do what you asked about something very important to you. He did what you asked him not to do about something very important to you. He is jealous and irrational and angry about your contacts with other people.
What do you like about him?