Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Seeya, One of you has to be the adult in the room, and you're the best hope for assuming that role. But to do that you've got to distinguish between the smoke-and-mirrors and the real substance of difficulties. Stop saying your husband is upset because you didn't cook 7 nights a week. Saying that makes you sound clueless. Anyone following your story has figured out by now that your husband has serious maturity/emotional issues that have nothing to do with who cooks what when. He throws that out as a "red herring," a distraction from the real problems. You need to read between the lines of all he has told, especially regarding his job. He's not capable of telling you what the real problems are. He just knows that he's miserable.
Stop taking things at face value. If you do, then you are acting like a daughter, not a wife. Look past the surface and get some insight.
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In the very beginning I did think it was about the dinner and laundry. I put my story out there to get feedback from outsiders looking in. I had a feeling his problems were emotional, angry, blame (me), controlling (my job that I quit), and his job that he hates. Almost like a child (tantrum). The "Poor Me". I read everyone's comments and I have sat back and observed his actions. He told his mom, dad, and one friend that I made him feel "worthless". "Poor me". He cant accept any responsibilities. That is a big problem. Lack of communication. He stated it was his job but this week he hasn't complained once about the hated job. He has a lot of issues and I cant help him no more. He has to do it and the first thing he needs to do is get himself another job.
I took off for the weekend for a girls weekend. Nothing much just fun, dinner, laying on the beach, clearing my mind (my turn). I came back Sunday evening. I felt good, my mind was clear and I was happy. I didn't contact him. He sent me a message on Saturday stating he was doing chores around the house. I replied with great. I gave him space.
He cooked dinner and it was nice. I was working on the computer he asked for me to stand so he can hug and give me a kiss. The evening was good, we talked, and he asked a bunch of questions where I went, what did I do, etc....Again it was just a girls weekend (we all need it). During the time of us being together I had a girls night or weekend once every three to four months.
I have less that four weeks to finish my masters and like I said before I keep really busy with school, work, and coaching. He doesn't like that I'm not home at times but its my job and I'm not quitting. I didn't go to school all these years to be a housewife so I'm not changing it now or for him.
Im doing a lot better and am moving on. Like I said four weeks to go and I am done!! He can sit and point the finger and someone else.