Hello all,

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 last Tues so I'm just trying to learn as much as I can before my next appt where I imagine they will be prescribing meds. I went through a few days of hell where I was just a hysterical mess but these past couple days I've started to accept it. I'm still really sad about it and I'm confused and scared but eh, what are you gonna do. When I was first diagnosed I felt so, so alone and like I wanted to give up and I still feel that way at times but I'm hopeful now. I have a supportive bf and family and I am grateful for them but it just feels like no one really understands. And I mean, I've been feeling this way for years but at least now I know why. I have all this shame and guilt and these thoughts that won't stop. Another thing, I really don't want to be on meds. Drs have tried giving me meds for depression for years and I've always refused them and now I might have to. But do I really? Can I just manage this without meds? What will happen if I don't. I've never been full blown manic, as far as I know, but she diagnosed me as bipolar 1 because the hypomania has gone on for nearly a week at a time. But then does that mean that I'll eventually reach full mania? And will I eventually get Alzheimer's? I guess I'm here to sorta vent and let some of my hurt out. I can't really talk about this with my bf or family and idk how it works here. Maybe no one will even really read this.