I agree, it isn't very healthy. This is something I never would have done before and I don't know why I started doing it, or why I feel like it would be so hard to let go. I think about this all of the time and it's so frustrating. It's hard because I don't know this person, and yet we've both shared a lot about our lives with one another. If I let go it would be very hard, and yet at the same time I feel miserable because of this. I never would have trusted someone enough to talk to them over the internet a few months ago. One positive about this might be that, by communicating with him, I've realized how lonely I really am (which I didn't realize before) which might motivate me to try to meet people in real life. I haven't really known what to do about this since we started talking, and even though I didn't even want to consider a relationship (I still have a lot of things to work on) I ended up developing feelings for him a couple of months into talking. I'm actually supposed to talk to him on the phone tomorrow, and then after that, I'm not really sure. I might just try to avoid him and try to focus on other things. Luckily I'm looking for work, trying to plan my post-secondary education for next year, etc., so I'll be busy anyways. I haven't been in treatment for BPD yet. I am hoping to find some kind of counseling, but my doctor hasn't been very helpful so I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it yet.