(((((((((((tranquility))))))))))

You and I have very much the same view on death. Your story was beautiful and I'm so happy you were able to be with him when his time came to go home.

I was unable to be with my father when he passed in August 1999. He lived in Bangor Maine and I was near Concord NH. I had gone up for a 4 day visit with him by myself the last week of July. The last time I had seen him was in March when his older brother, My Uncle Ken had passed away.

We had a wonderful time together. Dad was a drinker all his life. He was a pretty happy drunk for the most part. He took me to all his favorite haunts and we played pool and enjoyed some beers together. I was able to go on long drives with Dad through the towns where he grew up and lived with his grandparents. The old farmhouse was gone, but he remembered the area. We visited the ocean, we went onto some beautiful islands, we ate some wonderful meals together. We talked like we had never talked before. It was the best father/daughter time we had had since I was a kid. When I left him to go home, I cried almost the whole 4 hours on the ride. I had these impending doom feel in the pit of my stomach. It was hard to leave him, but Bangor was the place he wanted to be. He had always told me that he was born there, and that is where he wanted to die.

Four days after I got home, my phone rang. It was my aunt telling me that my dad had passed 2 days earlier. He was home alone, in bed and the landlord found him when he went to collect his rent. He passed of a massive heart attack, probably never felt a thing. (at least that is what I hope in my heart)

I knew Dad was headed for that to happen. He had stopped taking his heart medication around the time his brother had died. I know my dad wanted to join his brother. It was just a matter of time.

I am so very thankful that I had been able to spend those last 4 days with my Dad. It was the last time I was able to feel like a kid again. I will never forget those days for the rest of my life.

I rejoiced for my father's passing. He was in emotional pain that no one could help him with. All he wanted was a release from that pain. I am glad he finally got it and it was swift and painless.

I am with you in your grief hon.

Hugssss
Jean