Quote:
Originally Posted by Myrto
I could have written this word for word.
This is making me think I should definitely bring it up with my therapist! 
I think there is nothing wrong with being picky.
But also, could it be possible that you have a specific type?
I'm asking because as gay women, we tend to have less choices in general and when you are looking for a certain "type" well it's gets even trickier.
I'm a femme and I'm only attracted to femme lesbians. There aren't a lot of feminine lesbians to begin with.
Then you add the fact that I'm looking for someone who is smart, educated, well-read and the pool gets smaller and smaller.
Sometimes I feel shallow because I just recently went on a date with someone who was perfectly nice and smart and we had talked for three weeks (online) before meeting up. But there was nothing. No attraction in real life. I wanted to like her, I just couldn't.
All of this to say that I relate. |
I could have written your post word for word as well! Yes, I do have a specific type. I'm also a femme lesbian who is only attracted to other femme lesbians. Add to that educated, financially stable, similar interests-- and yes, I realize my pool is small. But I keep thinking that there must be women out there who fit the bill, right?
I think online dating can be disappointing because it feels like I invest a fair amount of time and energy into getting to know someone, learning about their background, seeing if we have similar values and goals, scheduling a "date" to meet in person-- and then nothing. No attraction whatsoever. Even worse though is that the other person often does feel something, so then I have to be the "bad guy" and let her know that I'm not interested. I've gone through this whole scenario quite a few times, and wish I knew of a better way to meet people. But, in RL, there is no way to spot a femme lesbian-- so I tend to go back to online dating in the absence of better alternatives. I just end end up feeling bad or guilty for meeting people who seem perfectly nice and who want to pursue something with me-- but I just don't becsuse there is zero attraction. I wish there was. There just isn't.