I'm almost positive it was the book "Running On Empty". The author also has a webpage which you can find by googling Childhood Emotional Neglect. She somewhat came up with the phrase. People have posted comments on there so you might find it interesting.

There's a chapter specifically for therapists and one part said something like "you may hear your client say 'I don't want to need you'". Whatever it was, it was EXACTLY what I had told my therapist early on. I read it once last summer and again about a month ago - at different times in my therapy.