Maternal transference and dependency type attachment can be healthy if utilized appropriately. I learned a lot from not only the women, but from the transference itself. And attachment is beneficial to me because it allows me to go deeper faster. I depend on my T to get me out of the attachment at some point (termination is not the appropriate way to do that though).
I'm glad you're doing better. And I do understand.
There's 4 things I hope for you right now:
1. Continue to take care of yourself.
2. Talk to your T about this.
3. Try to look at the positives; change your perspective.
4. Know that you're cared about.
You can make it through this. It hurts. You feel betrayed. And it's a huge shock. But it might be a good thing.