Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Yeah, if he finds you hard to tolerate, I can just imagine how little patience he would have with a messy, crying baby. Then you'll have to negotiate who pays for the diapers and who buys the toys and who pays for a sitter once in a while.
Yeah, you need to get established in your career. Having a baby can mean a loss of income from your discontinuing a job, or reducing hours. With him whining about how much he hates his job, I wouldn't want to be too financially dependent on him.
I'll bet, during that 6 month period when you supported him in the beginning, that he was real nice around the house.
Mark my words: That job of his is what is most troubling him, and he's just throwing up a smokescreen about being dissatisfied with you. Things are going to get worse for him at that workplace. Those people, father-in-law and co-workers, are going to be less tolerant than you've been. His conflict with them will only escalate. As it does, he'll become a less and less pleasant person to live with.
Women talk about "saving a marriage" like it was a person. I'm not saying that you should leave him. That's really something only you can determine. But, if you stay, don't do it for the sake of "The Marriage," like that's a 3rd party whose welfare has to be considered. If you stay, do so because you honestly believe that is what will be best for you and any future children you may have. Or do so because you honestly believe that this guy means so much to you that you truly don't want to lose him, despite all his faults. Otherwise, cut your losses. You make decisions based on what is good for people, not what is good for some institution.
Some marriages ought to be dissolved. I can't tell you that yours should be. Only you will determine that. Just don't go thinking that keeping "The Marriage" going at all costs makes you some kind of a hero . . . or makes you virtuous. Divorce is also a worthy plan of action, depending on circumstances. A good and virtuous person thinks about all that must be considered and carefully looks at ALL options, then makes a mature choice . . . not based on youthful pipe dreams.
If you chose to stay with him, consider the downside of that and come up with your plan for how you are going to handle that downside.
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I reread your post. Yes, the job that he has now he doesn't like. Looking back now at the other two jobs he had before we got married had issues (the job was bad). One job had a lot more issues than the other. Its something about work that he doesn't like. He does what they ask but I don't think he likes the authority nor does he like working for someone. Only he can fix that. Unless you have your own business, that's life. Unless he plans on living in a tent, in the mountains or lake there is nothing he can do. You have to work to make it in life. I'm going to work and make it. I might of fell back in the beginning but I didn't hit bottom. I kept myself together, got up, and have continued to move on. I haven't called in, I've worked long hours, commuted, maintained school, house clean, groceries, laundry, etc....
He's better but says he's still angry that I let him down (repeating his words)
Remember he was the perfect husband. So, for a week I didn't have sex when he said "Get over here and have sex with me", damn on me for not jumping at his command. He and others can call me what they want and blame me for everything. He needs to know that I wasn't his hooker and to date wont be one. Because he lost control doesn't mean I'm a dog and I roll over when he says to. You know his first reason or excuse. His second reason for him feeling like he was my father. He paid for things like a husband should and I wouldn't roll over for him. He needs to learn that to be intimate that is NO way to attract a women much less his own wife.
I left to work yesterday at 6:30am and returned home right around 8pm. When I came home dinner was cooked by him. That was very nice and he has been back to his cooking at least once a week. If it was all dinner not being on the table, he wouldn't be cooking, I would just hear his negative comments.