My ex-MIL recently passed away, but like you, she hated my ever-loving guts.

It took time for me to figure her out, but once I did, I simply ignored her. She would call me on the phone trying to get me to conspire against my adult daughter because she didn't like the things my daughter was doing. I told her I wouldn't participate and to never ask me to do such a thing again. She hung up on me. I called my ex-husband (her son, my daughters bio dad) and told him his mother needed to mind her own business and asked him to check up on our daughter to make sure she was okay and call me if he needed my help. As it turned out, my daughter wasn't doing what the old bat was accusing her of. Gee, there's a shock!

I agree with the others that your child comes first and it is in your child's best interest to be kept away from that woman. Otherwise the abuse (and it IS abuse) will continue. I know from experience that people who act that badly when others are around are even worse if left alone with a potential victim.

I don't think your husband can do anything to 'fix' this/her simply because for one thing, I don't believe people like her can be 'fixed' and secondly, as your husband, his first loyalty is to you and your children and it is his responsibility to protect his family at all costs.

Best of luck with this. It's a VERY difficult situation, but again, ignoring people who behave like her is VERY effective.

WW