I'm a junky with nearly 9 years clean. I have painfully strong desire to use again. When I play the tape through to the end I know without a doubt that it will kill me. My mind is twisted right now, and it is telling me that using is worth the loss of everything and the inevitable death. I could use some support from anyone that understands where I am at right now. I am fully aware that it is my responsibility to keep myself safe.