I have been in a building crisis for several months. Some things happened this week which have caused things to come to a head. Last week I saw my T and thought we had a good session, but it was about defining things about our relationship. Since then my life has crumbled bit by bit. I go to work and do my job like an automoton, then come home and cry... and cry and cry and cry. I drink too much and take far too much clonazepam. I research suicide methods online. Mostly I sit and stare into space or at my computer. I have no friends or hobbies. I am new to where I live.

I see my T monday, and have left a message for my pdoc. I will not go to the hospital, it is not an option. I left my T two messages so he will know what has been happening.

I just don't see how he can help me. There isn't a way out of this chaos I live in.

thanks for listening