My Support Forums - View Single Post

eskielover · Apr 08, 2015, 06:40 PM

Quote:

He liked it and made the purchase. Where we live houses are very hard to buy people come in and pay cash and the normal everyday people have to keep looking. Now, when he bought the house he did buy it himself. I was told to sign the deed. I did not ask and I trusted (my fault) him. I went in and signed.........
I also explained to the attorney what my husband said I was going in to sign at the title company, and how it was presented to me by my husband.

So you are on the deed or not, but not on the loan? or do you even know what you signed? It seems in a lot of ways that you where playing the role of that kind of wife that just did what you were told to do without really knowing anything about what you are doing. You were playing the role of having blind trust even though you say that's not the way you are???? You NEVER let a H do anything without being a part of it no matter how much you think you trust them!!!!

What about the boat you said he went out & purchased after you separated that weekend in one of your posts? If the money that purchased the boat or the house came from a joint account that has your name & even if it didn't but it was purchased for the joint residence of the marriage & also the boat because you weren't legally separated or had left him like I finally did with my H they you are just as responsible for the debt as he is. I would get a second opinion of another lawyer because on these issues because it sounds like the poor choices that you H is making is going to have a very BAD effect on you financially. He is abusing you financially if not in other ways also.

In California when I got my inheritance from my mother...I kept it all in the trust in MY name (I had been married for 30 years at that time). I was planning on taking MY inheritance money & buying MY FARM in another state 2100 miles away (KY)....but he said that he needed about $11,000 to do some repairs on the house we owned together in Ca. I stupidly didn't put it down in writing but I told him that I was only willing to LOAN him the money to make the repair until we got a refinance & then I wanted the money repaid to my inheritance & demanded that it was ONLY A LOAN. At this time I was dealing with PTSD from a trauma I went through dealing with the home care person during the time my mother was dying of cancer so I was struggling after her death because of the PTSD & the anorexia the stress pushed me into so I wasn't very functional at after my mother's death & couldn't even go back in her house for over a year after she died. Kept my money totally separate from our marriage money completely except for that little amount I loaned him for the repairs.

I finally found my farm 2 years later & paid cash for it & refused to even allow him to sign the deed in KY. He came to my farm for Christmas that year & I kicked him out within 2 weeks & sent him packing back to Calif. A lot of bad things happened including a issue with the IRS because of his incompetence & he had blown things so badly when I was mentally not able to run the finances for years even before the PTSD hit....he financially destroyed us & he was thinking about filing for bankruptcy while we were still married.....one of the lawyers he talked to said that because I provided that $11,000 for repairs of our house that it became OUR money & not mine even though I had an agreement with him that it was only a loan. (I'm sure he didn't tell the lawyer that little bit of information...but it was also not in writing). In Calif, your inheritance money is yours as long as you don't put it in the marriage joint account however any of that money that you put into marriage property unless there is a prenup agreement, it becomes part of the marriage assets from my understanding.

I do know that different states have different rules like in KY, they are what they call a dowry state so even though my H never signed the deed to my farm, when I put it into the LLC for my protection against him, my lawyer said that he was actually considered to be a part owner because of the dowry laws in this state so he had to sign a quit claim for my farm even though he had never signed the deed.

I would definitely get a second legal opinion on the statement that you are only entitled to the division of any increased value....but in that case also, you would become liable for 1/2 the debt because it is the house he bought for your primary residence in your marriage.

So where are you coming from with him?.....now you are back to kissing & hugging or was that just after the weekend you left or is that now also? Know that it's not always easy to make that break away from what is a bad marriage with a bad partner until the time is right.....I lived the last 13 years in the same house but in a different part of the house than my H lived....luckily it was a large house so I had my space & didn't ever really need to see him.....as it was nothing but fighting by the end of the 33 years I stuck around in the marriage because financially I couldn't leave until I ended up getting my inheritance from my mother....ironic because she was the one that talked me into not backing out of the wedding 33 years earlier.....when I saw the same red flags that I finally left because of. Use your wise mind....get out when you can & don't wait around thinking it will improve........given the sounds of his personality....it won't & you will just end up miserable & angry thinking of the time of your life you wasted on being married to a jerk.