Definitely struggling and no where to talk about it. Feeling isolated and lonely. Got home late from work and realized I'd eaten less than 50% of what I'm supposed to. Made it up to 60% and just can't do any more. I didn't mean to get back to the place of not realizing I'm restricting. And yet... the allure of maybe finally losing some weight again... I'd be lying to say it's not there.

I fear I am in pre-lapse mode pretty hard-core. The intention isn't there for relapse, but I'm dancing on the line. What happens when the music stops and I'm over the line? Afraid. And yet, I know that I'm far too good at hiding it when I struggle and there is NO ONE in my life right now that knows how to see me the way I need to be seen. :/