I'm sorry you are suffering.

Please remember that depression tells us lies. It's not the best time to think about anything enduring, as it can easily overwhelm you. Life is the journey.

Pain, itself, will not kill, not even physical pain. Our reactions or decided solutions to the pain (emotional or physical) is what kills. You still have a choice. You will always have that option, however, there's no reason to quit trying, ever.

Try to just take things one at a time. Focus on the here and now, what you need to get through right now. The ten days will pass and you will have more help then. (((hugs)))