Thanks guys I have a real hard time saying, hearing, or writing the actual words of everything going on in my head- Bare with me please!

A few months ago I was experimenting with my head after a therapy session. My T had said a couple of things that made me think he thought I was DID - although he won't diagnose anything. I thought he was crazy, but Im open minded and so this one day I experimented to see if I could assign genders and ages to my moods. Instantly it was like a reshuffle in my head and all these characters became clear and then... Well... Flooding I guess. Its all fuzzy and chopped up in to senses, but essentially I got a 'scenario' from my childhood which I had had no 'memory' of previously. Since then bits and pieces of memories have joined it. Im really struggling to believe I could experience what I saw in these thoughts, and not remember it. Ive experienced quite a lot of trauma as an adult, and so I want to believe that these 'memories' are just thoughts Ive created to deal with the (adult) trauma. But theres this bit of me which is saying 'no! This actually happened'. And my head is just spinning with all the pro/con arguments for believing / not believing these thoughts. I can't stand it. I just want to know one way or another whether these are thoughts, or memories. But I get the feeling Im never going to get that certainty and that drives me mad. Mostly I just want these thoughts gone gone gone.