To me this letter expresses your feelings really eloquently, I think it is a good letter.

After the breaks I had with my T I generally felt some very difficult emotions, it seemed incomprehensible to me that it was because of the break, it always seemed to be because of other things. I can't help help thinking that about your feelings right now - that they may be in some way intensified by the break. Is it just a coincidence that you are feeling like she is withdrawing and abandoning you after the break? Like you I was always fine during the break, and then after woods something she did triggered me.