My brother in law is a teacher and is therefore on spring break. He offered to keep my kids so I could have a day off. Hell yeah! So, Tues, I took the day to do what ever I wanted. First, I went to my therapist appointment. After that, I knew I needed to go to the grocery so I drove to the grocery. But, instead of the grocery, I ended up on the expressway to "take a long drive." Then I thought, "I need new clothes (I did)" so I thought "I'm going to go in my favorite store and just buy a couple of shirts." $170 later, I left the store. That might not sound like much, but when you are a family of 5 with $180 to your name and have to use your credit card for the purchase, it is a big deal. I thought my husband would kill me but instead he said that, while irrational, he knew I needed clothes so it was fine. However, when I called my mom, very excited about my purchase, she lovingly said "Sars, you can't afford that. ...Are you a little manic?" I said, "what? No mom. Why?" She didn't say why but I knew it was because of the purchase. I knew that she was wrong because I was still feeling depressed much of the time. But, I have been keeping my house clean like superwoman which is a DRASTIC change that I chalked up to the new med Vybanse (still do, I think). Well here it is 4:30 AM and I just bought a new $40 bathing suit on Ebay because I had to have it, again, credit card. I just hope my husband doesn't see it on his Ebay account. I plan not to tell him and just model it instead. That way he won't be upset. I prefer stability to any of this other nonsense! Anyway, that it my ramble for the morning. I will leave you with the oh so fitting lyrics to a lullaby I sang as a child. I wish I could sing it to you so you could get the full effect.

Teeter totter
Teeter totter
Teeter tottering, up and up and down

My hometown has a small playground
With a great big slide
But my favorite ride takes me up and up and down

Up and down
And I go up and down
Oh so high
I can touch the sky
And I go up and up and down