It seems I've spent almost 3yrs dreaming of fuzzy warm thoughts about I and T. Ever since a week ago when I had battled with rage after her now infamous "because I want too" statement, its like the bubble of positive transferrence as gone and now all the icky stuff is coming through.

I feel my stomach churning and my mind wanting to hold back the icky feelings that are building up.

As painful as therapy has been, its still be enjoyable on one level because of all the positive transferrence, now I'm afraid I will have lost my last safe place, and not want to go, and my negative transferrences will taint everything.