I'm only 24. We started dating when I was a freshman in high school. He's been there with me through my brothers death, my mothers overdose, my fathers multiple episodes and my first episode. I don't know how to cope without him. He's always been my rock through the storm. Now this storm is hitting head on and I have no one. He told me yesterday he didn't feel the same way he used to and so I left. Later, he texted me and asked me to come back and talk. I did, I ended up staying - thinking we were on the same page about working things out. He got home from work again today with that same look on his face and I knew he was regretting asking me to come back. I asked if I should go to my dads for a while and he didn't say no. Before I left he said, "I think this is the end." We didn't fight. It wasn't a nasty break up, but I didn't even see it coming. He said that he feels like he doesn't make me happy. How do you explain to someone that they can't just make someone who's depressed happy? How do you let them know that you do love them and your unhappiness isn't their fault? I'm not one to beg. If someone wants to leave my life, I'm not going to force them to stay. Tried that one too many times and ended with nothing but disappointment. Then, I think, what if that's what he wanted? Some kind of show that I wanted to be with him? I told him I did. I tried to show him. I won't cry in front of the person hurting me and I won't beg them to keep me around. Sometimes I wish I could.

I feel completely lost.