He must have known I knew he was there and didn't look at him. The whole thing is just too weird. I think the hardest thing is that I've been having all sorts of mixed feelings about him. I still feel love for him on the one hand, but I am frustrated by his mishandling my transference on the other.
I think there is huge maternal transference because I started seeing him shortly after my mother's death and there are a lot of parallels between the dysfunctional aspects of my relationship with him and my mother. Aargh who said it would be this hard!