This is my first time in therapy 1 1/2 years with my t. I attempted therapy 4 other times in my life and have never lasted past 4 sessions.

I went into therapy seeking help setting boundaries with my crazy family and some anxiety issues. I also wanted to talk some about my childhood trauma just for some validation. I finally felt strong enough to share this with someone.

Fast forward to present Virginia. I feel an emptiness in my chest and stomach. I feel spacey in my head. I have all these mother fantasies floating around in my head. I have become obsessed with maternal figures, to the point where I am losing friendships. My marriage was great going into therapy(I am female) Now we are growing distant. Is it me? Is it her? Or both? I have all these weird sort of touch issues. Which I have always had but now I have these obsessions about receiving nurturing touch from 3 women who I guess I have "maternal transference" for. I don't like the way I look. I pick at my face on a regular basis (very embarrassing). I am craving drugs again after being clean for 10 years. I did not have this low of self-esteem before therapy. The mother fantasies and obsessions were very minor (if at all).

I think I might be doing worse. I want to stop therapy but I am way to attached to her. The only reason I am going is I can't bare the thought of not seeing her. I feel therapy might not be for me but if I stop seeing her I think I would be so sad and cry all the time. The transference with her is intense (mostly maternal, but sometimes ET, and sometimes negative transference) The thing is....she is a great t. Kind, gentle, attentive, consistent, allows unlimited outside contact, patient, never gets frustrated with me. I could go on and on. She is like the perfect t for me, but something must be going horribly wrong for me to feel worse, right? I have been giving it time. I am stuck. I am having the same issues I had a year ago. I cannot go on with these mother fantasies, maternal attractions, and obsessing over receiving any sort of nurturing touch from my t or my reiki t. This cannot be normal, right? Should I stop therapy? Should I take a break? Or is the cat out of the bag and I need to keep working through these issues with my t? Should I show/tell her this? Opinions and advice would be so appreciated right now.