Sorry that you're going to be stuck working over the weekend too then. That sucks that people weren't able to get you quotes faster, I would have expected that they'd do it quicker (to make the sale). Maybe everybody is just hating work and life these days

I don't think my issue is getting back in the swing of things. I'm thinking it really is genuine depression. Like, "OH! So THAT'S what THIS is!". It's just so... demotivating. I got pretty much nothing done on my project today . I had a lunchtime meeting in the office, so most of the morning I was getting motivated to get up (!), getting dressed, getting breakfast, just not doing much of anything. I went in, the tech stuff we saw was actually really cool and exciting - I may have to send you a PM to share! - and it lasted longer than we expected. Stopped at the store afterwards to get lunch, came home, ate, and just... sort of lost track of time. Oh, and gave up at 4pm to lie in bed and watch several DVR'ed episodes of "Married at First Sight". Not my best choice of the day

Then I walked, cooked, watched more TV... sat down at 11:30 and thought about working on it, but it's almost midnight. I may be able to get it together tomorrow, but if not, it's the weekend for me too. And really, I'm just having such a hard time caring. This has to be the least motivating job in the world. This is so not how I used to be!!!

Anyway, I feel especially lazy after hearing that you're involved in 12 different volunteer organizations, plus your job, plus your hobbies. Holy cow! How on earth do you manage to do all that!

I really miss feeling smart! Maybe you're right that I'll get to play a bigger role in this, I was already giving people random bits of background info on the company today when we met. We'll see.

What's going on with you not sleeping? That sounds... bad. You mentioned mild bipolar...do you think you might be in some sort of manic phase? (You don't sound manic here, but it's probably hard to tell in text, and you are doing a huge amount of work/projects/hobbies.) Are you tired during the day, when you don't sleep at night?

Hope you're OK, and you get it figured out...

Thanks for the tips on being brief, you're right - my boss doesn't want pages of details, he never does. But, it's so so hard, because I can't not put them in! I'm like, "OMG! You need to know this... all this stuff that happened a couple years ago was huge and covered in the media and resulted in all this new stuff they've done since to get customers back and and and...." I like details! (I'm sure I'd get along great with your friend!)

But, I may be able to skimp on some of the less important stuff. I may take out my section about competitors completely, because I don't know that it's going to be useful at all (and I haven't written anything yet ).

That's a great idea about dealing with mom's and their vagueness, very take charge, but also sets everything up so that there's no need for any negotiating. Though in all fairness, the one good thing about my mom is that she tends to be up for anything. Any place I want to take her, she's happy to go. She loves getting out, seeing things, and meeting people. I just wish she didn't drive me nuts.

That's a really interesting observation about martyrdom and narcissism. I'm still confused and on the fence with that... there are things that make me think she could be a narcissist, but I'm just not sure. Maybe... I'll have to watch for the martyrdom angle and see if that comes up. Hard to tell, since I really do not spend a lot of time with her. It's so weird, she gets along with people so well, she's sociable and has a ton of friends. But, she was such a terrible mother and it's still painful for me to deal with her, and she just does not get it. It feels like there's just nothing real there to even try to connect to . It's truly bizarre. But people like her anyway!

Thanks... I'm not sure what I need to do to re-energize. It's frustrating, because I feel like I need to take a vacation/break from work... but then I realize that even if I took a couple weeks off, any gains in my mood/mental health would be obliterated as soon as I started back up. That's depressing in itself, and I can feel how true it is! But it feels like the job is a big factor sucking the life out of me!

Hmm. I don't know. They were actually encouraging us to take leaves of absences last year (ha! To try to help the budget!) People tend to take off for a year when they have babies... I'm not having any babies, but it would be so so so nice to take off for like, 3 months. But, you obviously don't get paid during that time... plus you have to pay COBRA for your insurance, plus they actually adjust your effective start date, so you don't even get credit as an employee (which would screw up my vacation for next year, since it would push out my Dec. start date into the following year).

But you're right, I need to find something to get excited about. I really hate this feeling of just *dragging*, and the fact that the *years* just seem to be slipping out from under me, with nothing to show for it !