Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Are you studying to be a lawyer?
I'm not saying you're petty. It's hard to express what seems to come across. It does seem like you are trying to out-argue your husband. And that you are looking for affirmation that you are right.
Of course, his stated expectations are nuts. I don't believe even he believes that he has a right to those expectations. So you are married to this kook. Your problem isn't that you have to prove something to him, or gain reassurance that it's okay for you not to cook daily. This isn't about cooking. Once you said that he threw you out of the house, you had more than proved your case that he is way out of line.
There is no other part to this story. This is what I have been told by him. When I finally got him to talk a couple weeks ago, he said he was sorry three or four times for having me sign the papers to the house. He said that I let him down because he was making all the money and I didn't do things a wife should of been doing. He said he gave me hints and that he shouldn't of had to tell me. That he was going to try to not get so angry. He would try to communicate (which he really hasn't).
He is SO stubborn that being this angry at me is ridiculous.
Rose76, that's a good start. Ask him where he sees himself in five to ten years.
What many of the posts here are trying to get across to you is that your husband is not mainly upset over you not cooking. He's deeply disturbed, alright, but it goes way beyond cooking. It's clear that's what he threw out at you as his complaint. I believe you. His complaint is so ridiculous that "petty" has nothing to do with it. What's coming out of his mouth is clearly not what is really bothering him. Something else is. I'm guessing the job is part of that.
So you may be "proving a point" with him, but the two of you are not talking about anything matters. I get that he may not be the easiest guy to engage in a mature conversation. Try asking him where he sees himself 10 years from now. Encourage him to talk about what are his alternatives to staying on this job that he hates.
Actually, it sounds like you two did some substantive talking. I think you said he admitted that getting you to sign away your ownership of the house was wrong. So that's a start . . . maybe the best you two can do at the moment.
|
We did talk about two or three weeks ago. We discussed how he had me sign the deed, how he can control his anger, maybe he can quit his job once I start working, and things about myself.
He is so stubborn and is holding a grudge against me. Life is short. Why hold on to this with this length? I'm not saying we are back 100%, things are ok right now.
Rose76, thats a great idea. I will start by asking that question. Do you have any other advice how to talk to someone this stubborn?