That is a common feeling for avoidant people. It helps a lot if you have a specific goal when you start seeing someone - to get a better job, or to try to be more social with your family.

You can't cure avoidance. All you can do is learn to manage it better. You can learn coping skills and how to be authentic.

The last person I tried to be friends with I told him about my issues right up front. Actually, what I told him is I can't be friends with you. Then I explained it. I nearly had a waver for him. lol I wanted him to know exactly what he was getting in to.

With therapy, it does seems like a lot of treading water. And then suddenly, something pops, and you figure out a better way. Being honest is the only way through it. Admit your feelings of distrust, and see how they react. If you've got a good one, they won't get defensive, but will instead work through it with you, help you see what your triggers are and how you can counteract them.

You can't just ignore the avoidance, or it will come back and bite you all the harder. You have to learn how to work with it. It can be done. You'll get through this. It's not all doom and gloom and bleak future. But you have to face it and accept it. And you can do that.

Stop comparing yourself to other people, and instead compare yourself to yourself. You tried with this friend of yours. That is an improvement, a step. It didn't work out exactly the way you wanted it to, but that rarely happens with anything. Try again. Get more data points so you can watch your progress.

Good luck.