I'm trying to stop self harming.

But the problem is as part of not self harming, I have to feel emotions. That's actually harder than not self harming. I hate feeling emotions even though clearly I do constantly as it is the reason I self harm.

And speaking to my therapist there is no way around this but to reach my upper limit and survive it, then the next time that limit is supposed to be less high and so on and so forth.

I hate it. I'm seriously hoping after doing this for awhile that therapy starts to help because at the moment it feels like all I'm told is to go away for the wek and feel like crap and survive it - distress tolerance etc. If I was any good at this I'd have already done this years ago! Where are the tools to make the emotions less crap? ....Maybe they come afterwards?

Logically I get feelings won't kill me, in fact what is the worst that could happen - I just will cry constantly and maybe feel like tiny knives are circulating my body...perhaps start screaming at everyone around me?! Apparently I shouldn't disconnect from my feelings too much either - I have to feel them for the stopping self harm part to be worthwhile - but since I feel I have to disconnect to an extent in order to function, otherwise I may start yelling a lot, I'm not entirely sure that'll fit in.

Anyone else focused purely on stopping self harm in therapy? How did you find it and is it worth it? Did you count in days or weeks? What did you do to get through it when it was at its worse?