indigo i liked your saying. i am the 2nd eldest of 11 kids, parents made the mistakes with the older kids, and changed after the younger clan was born. i can see a big difference in how we were treated as compared to the older clan. well i got over it i had to forgive, i even had a sister that hung herself, that was how bad it was living in a poor family with tons of kids who didn't get their needs met. all i can stress is forgiveness and you'll be so content once you do forgive- good luck