Thanks for the opportunity to tell about my dad, EJ.

While my dad was far from perfect, I do not love him less for his human foibles. Granted, there were times when he did things that hurt me (never verbally or physically abusive), I realize he was a lost soul who tried as hard as he could to fit in.

He was a brilliant man, self taught with some college, no degrees. He could visualize a machine that needed to be designed and design it from the bottom up. And yet, when it came to dealing with lifes little problems, they were far too difficult for him to work through without taking to the bottle.

He was a great guy and would do anything he could for you. As long as he wasn't drunk that is. He was not a violent drunk. He never picked fights with my mom or my brother or I. He was a happy drunk and I suppose if there is a good drunk, that would be the kind to be.

My dad taught me how to fish, how to ice skate, how to play football, softball, baseball and pool. He taught me how to lawnbowl (scottish game), how to climb a tree, how to swim and dive. He was always the competitor and damned good too. But he was also the consumet gentleman on and off the field. He could dance up a storm, did the best jitterbug I've ever seen anyone do.

Dad did his best to try to please everyone. I guess that's where I got it from. He never understood that by always pleasing others and never truly pleasing himself, he lost himself along the way. Because he taught me that, I am working very hard on pleasing myself as well as helping others....I'm finding a middle ground where it can all work together.

My dad always had a quick smile and laugh. He loved a good joke, even if it was on him! He accepted my friends and treated them with respect.

My dad loved to read...to be taken away to a far off place, to live for a time where there was no emotional pain. He shared his love of reading with his grandchildren and today my daughters are avid readers too! I myself never picked up on it like they did. I like to read, at times.....LOL.

My dad worked hard during most of my childhood. As his alcoholism gripped him more, he slacked off quite a bit. We were older by then and finding our own way, so some of the pressure was off him by then. We always had a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, and clothes on our backs. There wasn't money enough to spoil us and get us everything we wanted. That's not a bad thing

My dad had a carefree heart....always looking for the next big adventure. I guess I got that from him too! Sometimes he didn't think through his plans for his adventures and he would fall on his face. That made me sad, because for every time my father failed, he internalized it and drank more

I consider myself quite lucky to have had the dad I had. For all the bad that happened in our lives (yes, there were a lot of times it was not good), what was good, was really good! I do not blame my dad for any problems I now have with myself. It is what it is. I am an adult and as such can find ways of helping myself through my battles. To hold my father accountable for my issues would not be fair to him, nor myself for that matter. It is what it is. I loved my dad then and I love him still. I miss him terribly, yet I am glad he is no longer suffering from his internal struggles.

I love you DAD!

xoxoxox
Your Cammie