I feel like nothing matters anymore. I'll never feel 'well' and I'll never get to do all the things I wish I could do that would make my life worthwhile. I'll never get a break from this depression, the headaches and total lack of energy. I only exist here. I don't 'live'. I'm not alive, except in body, and that's burdened by constant tiredness and head pains. Not to mention how I feel emotionally. I'm isolated, I'm lonely, I dropped out of high school a year ago and haven't attempted to finish, I'm jobless at 18 and still living with my alcoholic parents who fight every night. And I don't have the physical or mental energy to even begin to change this. People think it's a matter of willpower and 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps', 'you have to want it', 'nothing will change unless you do'. But they don't understand. If you can't, you can't. I know that nothing will get better unless I do something, but that's the thing - I do not have the mental or physical energy to do anything. I just can't see a future for myself.