I'm struggling more than I want to admit but I have too, I feel safe here, and maybe getting it out will help. I recently went through my meds with my sister.... and found a lot of stuff that I had been saving.... I guess I need to enact a safety plan but I just don't want too.... So I text a friend and she is busy, I just don't want to be a bother to anyone... which my psychology training kicks in and says get off your butt and do something productive, don't just sit there feeling crappy, do something... then the depression side says, oh go ahead and stay put, nothing will help..... Psychology side says back, it will help if you get off your butt and go for a walk or do something remember you are only making this worse for yourself. I hate listening to the rational side and this just keeps on going back and forth through all of the walls I have put up.