All I am seeing is a spoiled child that wants all the control and NEVER takes responsibility for himself. He is blaming everyone and especially YOU. And many posters have been telling you this "fact" even quite indepth and elegantly.

From what you are saying/discribing of him, it sounds like he has NPD. If that is the case, then he is never going to change and as time goes on your head will keep spinning, it's not good for you. His illusions of grandeur are, a house HE OWNS, a boat HE OWNS, a new car/truck HE OWNS, and him being the boss where he works, adored by others and waited on hand and foot by YOU.
The ONLY TIME he sees you is when IT IS YOUR FAULT, and he is not getting HIS WAY, and it IS HIS WAY OR THE HIGHWAY. And the ONLY ONE he feels sorry for IS HIMSELF.