I am sorry muffinhead of your difficulty in expressing grief. Not sure about your particular situation, but for me it is difficult to grieve when the pain is so deep it is considered a threat to stability. There are safety valves that can sidetrack emotions that are considered a risk.

There is much more in articles here at PC.
Psych Central - Search results for Asperger syndrome expressing emotion

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.