All I want to do is quit. And, I'm afraid I won't be able to, or that it's the wrong thing.

I don't know what to do. I was stable and OK before coming back to therapy. I was getting healthy, eating well, losing weight, sleeping better than I ever have in my life... I was on the right path.

And therapy is completing destroying that, and I don't know why or how to stop it.

Now, I can't stop eating crappy sugary foods. My sleep is restless and awful. I forget to do exercises. I'm useless at work, and am lucky if I get an hour or two of work done over 8-9 hours in front of the computer. I can't get anything done around the house, and I think you have no idea of the level of "not getting stuff done" that I'm currently indulging in. I spend way too much time in bed. I had one week where I work the same t-shirt for... 3 and a half days, slept in it and wore it all day, no showers in between.

When I was out of therapy, I stopped having SI urges. I was *fine* and SI felt like a lifetime ago. Now, I'm struggling and still sometimes cutting. I'm having *sui thoughts and doing research and daydreaming about how it would be.

This is not better, and there's no sense that it's going to be better. I can't see any improvements or any way that this is the path to better. I think I'm the biggest idiot in the world for getting caught back up in the fantasy of therapy leading to a better life

And, I just want to cry. Because I know you think you care. You've said it. But the way that you care isn't translating to me. It doesn't come through. It's like caring on paper or something, or like reading lines from a play. It doesn't feel real, and it doesn't feel like it exists. I believe that you believe, but I think it's too much to ask from you.

But it makes me sad too, because I don't want to be the ******* client from ****. And, as hard as I try to be respectful, and polite, and to be honest about my stuff, I think it's pretty clear that I *am* that client.

I don't know what to do here. I'm crying. And, just once, I wish you'd say something helpful and supportive, instead of something else that makes me think this was a bad idea.