I can relate to this as well. I have felt that everything is fake at times because a combination of medications, therapy, and my self working together can make me feel normal. I actually talked to my therapist about this before and she more or less was like hey remember where you were at one point; are you willing to throw all your progress away because of these thoughts. She is very stern about staying on my medications and she has more or less lectured me on it. Looking back I am glad she did because truly I don't want to be in the place I was before again.

The locking myself away and just wanting to sleep, the anhedonia, the constant negative self talk. Or on the flip side running around for 16 hours a day, emailing my director multiple times with super outlandish requests for our work environment, the racking up of debt, not being able to keep a thought and trying to get everybody on bored with all my plans.

I remember crying out I am sick of this I just want to be stable and in the middle, which is where I am now. Stay strong and shut that negative talk down by reminding yourself of where you have come from to now.