I'm really sorry you're going through all of that. It must be extremely difficult for you. I can't relate to the things and situations you've been in but I have had depression and social anxiety since childhood. I think I probably have some sort of level of ADD too. I think finding a T and getting therapy would help. I know for me that when I finally started seeing a T, it really did help. I have never had any kind of support system where anyone knew about what I was going through and struggling with so having my T to finally unload some of that really helped. My family hasn't even have the slightest clue. Also, therapists are never supposed judge your thoughts or actions so if that ever happens, it is an indication to immediately find a new one. I think it would be a good idea to tell your psychiatrist as well. That way they know and are able to see how you've mentally been from the start of a new medication that you started to however long they decide to see if you should stay on that medication or take you off it. I've been on Wellbutrin for the past month and it has helped me but everyone knows medication always works differently for everyone.

I really hope the best for you and hope good days come to you soon.

(Off topic but I noticed you're from San Francisco. I live in the bay area too (east bay), it's been pretty freaking cold lately lol. Been having the chills too so that doesn't help either)