I had a really long rant about how frustrating it is to work with vendors, but I snipped it Really, though - dealing with these sales people is seriously annoying. I spend time being bored to death (even when I try to cut them off), I give them very specific (but succinct!) information about what I need quoted... and they give me quotes that are seriously incomprehensible and not at all what I asked for. Like, we have a building that has X employees. They are quoting me a system that has x*3 capacity, even though there are products that are x+10 or x*2. Why are they doing this? I did not mention any planned expansion and they did not ask.

And now that I am starting to pull together this report, I am really struggling to figure out how I will do it and feeling like I totally screwed up with the path I went down. I just have more questions than answers and I am supposed to be providing the answers. I should have started with a structured requirements discovery process. I thought I would be able to quickly get some numbers on various options so we could get a rough idea of budget, pick out one or two possible solutions, and then start to drill down.

It's like I've forgotten how to do stuff.

I'm struggling to take out detail, too. This project is huge and multi-faceted. I want to have a summary page and print out all the detail for my people. That way the CEO can have what he wants and my friend can have what she wants and if anyone wants both, good for them. The CEO did look at the detail I brought in for my last meeting very closely and found a typo!!!

PLUS it is going to be 60 degrees this weekend, for the first time in six months. Not what I want to do!

I think we both need to just be more confident about what we are doing. Whatever we do will be good enough. Nothing has to be perfect - we are working with extremely imperfect people/organizations! It's okay if we don't get it right on the first try, either.

My father, who I really think is a narcissist, was also very social and had a lot of friends. He is just a very selfish person (and a liar). If you only see him at the bar for 30 minutes a week, you might not notice. If you live with him... it starts to affect your life in a very bad way.

My mother is also always up for everything, but I just can't be around her. Maybe someday I will get over it, but she is very annoying to me and it just makes me angry. She was very clingy when I was in my teens/20s, and once I saw how horrible it was that I spent most of my time doing stuff with my mother instead of having friends like other people my age, I really started to resent her. She also has a very annoying way of communicating. She's extremely passive aggressive. She will ask for an opinion and no matter which way you answer, she will argue. It just gets old.

So, yeah, difficult parents are stressful!

I don't think I am bipolar either, but I wonder sometimes if there is a sort of mild version. Throughout my life I go through hyperactive phases and more fallow phases. About 7-10 years ago, I was extremely social, working 60-80 hours a week, going to grad school full time, involved in the local art scene, engaged in many bad dating situations, etc. I was always on and lived a 'sleep when you're dead' life. Some of the stuff I did then was pretty crazy, really...but still functional crazy? Except for the dating? I wasn't running up my bills... but I *was* putting every available cent into gambling in the stock market, and I did take out student loans to have more money to gamble with. A lot of my classmates were doing stuff like that, so I am not sure what that means.

I have bipolar friend and family and what happens to them is not what happens to me. I just wonder - where is the line? If my crazy choice works out, does that mean I'm not crazy?

I was describing an art project I'm working on to my art teacher and she was kind of looking at me like I was crazy. I asked my BF about it and he said that if someone who didn't really know me heard me talking about it, they would think I was crazy too. My mother and brother got it immediately, actually - I didn't even have to finish my sentence. Does that mean something? I don't know.

I am hugely in favor of sabbaticals. An adjusted start date messing with your vacation, sure, that sucks, but being able to take three months off and go back to a job is huge. It's safer than quitting to take three months off. Is the COBRA a must?

Did the people who took leaves come back? Were their jobs eliminated later on?