I completely understand! I feel like this quite often. Especially when depressed/mixed and when I get hospitalized. I feel like I'm just being dramatic and that my symptoms aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be and certainly don't require hospitalization. It took a serious psychotic episode to get me to wake up and accept it as well!

I still feel like I made my life exponentially harder than it needed to be. Who goes to the hospital six times in a year and a half? I MUST have been making it up for attention. I'm always worried about that because when I was a kid I did make up injuries/illnesses for attention. I still feel horrible about it and that was twenty years ago.

But when I feel like this, I remember my favorite Harry potter quote:

Harry: professor, can I ask you a question? Is this real, or is it happening inside my head?
Dumbledore: of course it's happening inside your head, Harry. But why should that mean it's not real?