Well my surgery took place with some complications. It was supposed to take three hours, but ended up taking seven hours. One major setback was the doctor had to cut out a bunch of scar tissue that built up inside of me due to 9 other previous surgeries. The pain was unbearable for almost 24 hours afterwards, and I was wondering how come I didn't dissociate then! I switched a few times during the initial accident, but why not this time! Why can't I control it like so many others are able to do? I know I'm whining, but isn't this the whole reason alter personalities are subconsciously created? Mine seem to just create disturbances in my life. The only good thing I can ever remember an alter ever doing for me was keeping me alive until the ambulance arrived. In fact, as I laid on the asphalt dying, my alter had the audacity to treat the EMT's like they were inconveniencing me! I said to them, "excuse me, can't you see I'm on the phone!!," when the EMT was trying to put the oxygen mask on my face.

I have to admit my actions when I'm under the control of an alter are pretty funny. And if it wasn't ME actually acting like a diva, I would totally get a kick out of some of the things I do. But where is my alter now? This pain is awful! There is no use in experiencing this pain. No benefit. Just painful pain!!

That's my gripe for today. Yes I'm blessed to be alive, and yes there are people who even die during surgery. All in all, I'm a very lucky gal. Now if this pain would just subside, I'll be just great!