I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.
No one has the right to judge you or the hard decisions you had to make. You did what you thought best at that time. Considering the circumstances there weren't many choices. I have felt as you do, just sitting and being unable to summon the energy to move. I finally found the right medicine. No T should ever judge you on your past decisions but if it makes it easier you could ask outright when you call around what their outlook on that subject is.
Take care