Well, here I am, not even a month after I've turned 18, and Already I'm ready to *********. Now... I don't want to ***... but the thoughts are strong. They're so bad sometimes. I see myself doing bad things. Anxiety makes it worse, obviously. Ten times worse. I've been given anxiety medication but I'm too afraid to take it. I almost went back to self harming the other night, but I tried my hardest to put the blades back down, and I did... but they're getting stronger. It's harder to avoid them. I worry either way. I want to cut so bad... to literally give me something outside f my body to worry about... but that's the thing!!! Then I'll worry about the cuts getting infected and dying. My mom told me maybe I should go for an evaluation...to see if they can find anything else wrong maybe... that could be anyway. That's why I'm wondering if it's time to go inpatient again... I haven't been for two years since the first time... I'm scared. What are adult wards like? Are there good ones? Will being 18 out me I'm adoscelent or adult? What were your experiences? These are some things I'd like to know... thank you im advance.