OH god! This was by far the worst day in the last years, the anxiety was so strong that I had to drink (water) regularly as my mouth was dry from heavy breathing. I gathered some courage to call a friend and make good wishes on her 19th birthday. Then I started crying loud for a few minutes.
Then I have been working, trying to focus on the job and not make mistakes, with the anguish always biting me relentessly. I have to work on sunday because bookbinding requires attention, I can't do it with the shop open.
Oh God, I'll soon be sleeping, scared about tomorrow... everytime I wake up, it's like a ton of crap being dropped on me, it's a trauma everytime. That is why I never make naps during the day, na matter how sleepy. I can't afford to wake up 2 times the same day!

Tomorrow I'll call my therapist, just to update him, but he can't really help in this time of severe crisis... It's not like a dentist, he can't grind the evil off my brain.

I keep reading that depression is an illness that can be cured, on a day like this my confidence is thinning down.

Thank you all for being there.