I don´t want to give an easy answer, without knowing details about your life, but what I thought when I read your post was, you somehow remind me of myself. For a long time I´d been seeking for a parental figure, because my own father was not the father to me, that he should have been. And so I expected to find what I´ve been missing in other men.older men. I´ve been addicted to them, I thought that they were the only way for me to get to know who I am, and the only way to find protection and care. When loosing one of these men, I felt so incredibly empty and unable to live and I had no hope towards future to become fine and liveable.
want to tell you, even if you can´t believe now, YOU are able to be happy!!! Your life can become whole again!!
when I was in that state, I thought about those, who told me something like what I´m telling you now,:
You don´t know anything about me and my life,about The overwhelming pain! how can you know that I am able going to become luckyly again?
I wanted to quit my live for about many years, but now I begin beeing glad I did not quit. It was a process, hard work,
but indeed I am going to be happy!!!
never believed in the possibility. And it feels so good.
Please don´t give up, Rouge198!!!