You don't want to be in the same boat as others who have failed relationships?

No offense, but this is an INCREDIBLY unrealistic way to look at things. And to be honest, if you count the guy who ditched you at church, you do indeed have a failed relationship of sorts. It seems like you're being a bit judgmental and at the same time putting obstacles in your own way to finding true love. Rare is the case of someone who goes out and hits a home run on their first at bat. You need to practice. Relationship stuff doesn't come naturally to most of us.