Well... My mom is going to go see my grandma on Monday and that means I'll be left home alone. All day long. I'm afraid that I will become... Well, I don't know. I don't have a good feeling about this. What if something happens? Or I end up doing something and no one will know?

I've been going through a rough patch. I have been feeling pretty discouraged due to important events happening in school. And I am no longer able to take part in it. I knew that if I made the decision to take my HiSET, I would be unable to do the sports and competition for choir probably ever again.

Now that everything that I love is starting, I just don't think I can handle it. Due to me jealous of siblings, I tend to "blow up" for no particular reason... To them, that is. I keep telling my parents that I think that I really need to be doing SOMETHING. I don't care what it is, as long as it's physical and competitive. And now that I will be left at home, alone, with no way of getting out because of me not having a drivers license (or a vehicle), I don't what know what I'm going to do.

Here comes the complicated stuff... I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression (among other things). I was put on meds and when we ran out (last summer), my parents refused to refill the prescription. My mom has depression and takes meds, so I don't understand why they refuse to give me the medication I need in order to function.

With that said, I haven't been doing well for about 9 months now. And I am going to be left alone in this state. I don't know what I'm going to do...