Yep, it's wrecking mine too. At 44, I don't feel like I have anywhere to go now. I'm just living each day as it comes, trying not to hit the self destruct button as I have done so often in the past.

I'd love to have someone who understands what this is all about but I'm safer keeping it to myself. I'm already a paranoid, self conscious mess, revealing the truth would be too much to handle.

I worked today. It felt ok but now I'm alone with my thoughts again. My mind is racing. I can't keep up. Sometimes I get that confused and distressed, I have to fight for air. Strange that I can see all of these warning signs, but I'm not prepared to do anything about it. What a strange illness.