I just want to say right away this isn't me threatening suicide just wanted to talk about it from my past. Their was a time when things were so hard for me that I started to imagine how I could kill myself. Now I would snap out of this thinking eventually but I remember thinking about where I wanted to end my life and what I would leave behind as kind of a note. At different points it would be at my mom's or dad's saying different things every time. I told myself that if I ever put any plan into motion I would go to the hospital first.

Now it never got that far so I can't say for sure that I would have but I saw for the first time in my life what it was like to be so beaten down that I would rather just not live. As I said I feel a lot better now but kept this hidden from almost everyone and even then not to any detail. I thought it was time to express myself and finally let go of that horrible place. I'm slowly starting to feel better but it gets hard some days since I'm "not on track" with the rest of the world. I try my hardest but time and time again I get crap for not trying hard enough. I wish those people could see what's it like to be that sad before they judged me. Thanks to everyone reading this!